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Some people say there’s no point in worrying.
Others say, “If I worry now, I’ll be prepared later.”

So, which is it?
At its best, worry is vigilance.
At its worst, it’s hypervigilance.
At its best, checking and preparing makes sense.
At its worst, over-checking heightens the perception of threat.
At its best, discussing things with others is wise.
At its worst, rehashing the same conversations repeatedly is like scratching an itch that keeps itching.

There are two kinds of worry.
Productive worry, the one we all want: specific, time limited, actionable.
And ruminative worry, the one where we drive ourselves quietly mad: circular, hypothetical, repetitive. The psychological hamster wheel.
Whatever variety of worry you have, here’s the number one thing to remember: worry is not a predictor of outcome. It’s not a crystal ball. It has no prophetic powers. What it can tell you is what you don’t want to happen. That’s useful. But it’s not foresight.

Ruminative worry is no walk in the park, and the symptoms are unpleasant: agitation, tense muscles, head noise, and the urge to think your way to peace of mind.

So how do you deal with it when it shows up?
Firstly, don’t put it on a throne and make it king or queen.
Worry isn’t royalty; it’s a thinking acrobat, jumping from one thought to another: What if? How do I know? Are you sure? But what about?

Secondly, and here’s the contradiction: ruminative worry invariably suggests action to solve a problem. The catch is that it isn’t a problem to solve; it’s something to live with, albeit temporarily. So, your job is to resist the urge to act.

Thirdly, whatever you do, don’t try to stop the thinking. Thought suppression isn’t possible. Tell yourself not to think about something and you’ve just glued it to your forehead.

So let the thoughts play on, out of tune and uninvited. Some say you need to sit with them. I say just carry on while they play on.
Do your emails.
Make your dinner.
Hang out with a friend.
The less you try to get rid of ruminative worry, the sooner it loses interest in you. A dictator moves on when you stop doing what it says.

And now for the golden guidelines:
Do your thing even though you’re worrying.
Remember that worry has no wisdom about the future.
Remember that thought suppression isn’t possible.

And most importantly, don’t let ruminative worry hold your reins. It’s fine if it rides in the carriage, but it doesn’t get to drive.